Venting... Oddly... Getting Personal & Self Deprecating!

So I’m a writer and sometimes I use AI. Mainly I use it for editing and feedback. I NEVER EVER have it write for me! But I think I’m gonna stop. I have been considering this for a while. But I have been getting bothered by their responses or, more accurately, lack there of. See I have been working on a story, it is based on a dream and I think it is coming together very well. Anyway, one scene in this story is an intimate sexual encounter between characters who are explicitly teenagers. Teenage sex scenes have never really, in my lifetime anyway, been seen as particularly problematic. Countless books, movies, and TV shows have depicted it, sometimes more vividly than I ever have. Wanting some feedback I post it to ClaudeAI. I don’t think anything of this scene, it is pretty short and far from the main story. But ClaudeAI says it can’t discuss it because it has children having sex. I am shocked, like they’re teenagers, that is clear. I have shared other stories with ClaudeAI in the past with teenager sex. A thing I think nothing of because it is so mainstream and has been throughout my life. Next I test this. I go to GrokAI on private mode and share it I get some feedback, and it agrees ClaudeAI was unreasonable in not discussing it. Ok so it’s just ClaudeAI. Well no. I go onto a thread of other connected stories I have with GrokAI and I explain the situation. Then it says an emphatic emboldened NO! It said it cannot discuss any sexual content with anyone under 18 and that ClaudeAI was right to refuse. So I’m shocked, and a bit upset. Like the response sounded rather rude to me, I’ve never liked it when anyone/anything responds ruder than necessary. And saying ClaudeAI was right, as if to imply I am wrong for writing something that, like I said, is mainstream. Plus, very inconsistent. I mean the chatbot that called itself MechaHitler is telling me I’m wrong. So, anyway I push GrokAI asking, if it wouldn’t be able to discuss The Secret Life of the American Teenager, because it depicts teenagers having sex? It says that it could because that is already established. But it can’t give feedback on any new story depicting this. So, this bothers me, probably more than it should. But when you think about it, this is a very elitist view. Like an established mainstream popular show, fair game. But an independent writer? Nope! So, ABC family is fine, depict all the teens havin sex you want. But if you’re a poor nobody, AI says GTFOH! So maybe that’s part of it too. Like prude shit, elitism has always been something I oppose vehemently. I also perhaps, like many authors, sometimes take things too personally. So maybe I take it a bit accusatory, like I am doing something wrong. But I’m not doing anything that thousands of authors have not done before me. I mean teenagers have sex, in real life all the time. If we can’t depict real life scenarios in stories than, like, what the fuck? How prude can society really be?

    And that is probably at the root of my issue here. Like why do I give a fuck about AIs? And it’s probably more the social prudishness it shows. I mean we have long seen in media, blood, guts, gore, Gets a PG-13 rating, But the moment people hook up, like people do, it’s an R. Make a movie, a character says “fuck you.” That movie, PG-13. Have a character say “I wanna fuck you!” That’s an R. And if one a those characters is LGBTQ,(as one of my characters is, so ClaudeAI and GrokAI transphobic?) fuhgeddaboudit! NC-17 immediately. And we hate sex so much it seems, that AI has literally encouraged people to kill themselves. Outrage follows, calling for AI safety, and these AIs are like “alright, alright, we won’t allow sex anymore” Like WTF are these priorities? Anyway prude shit has always pissed me off. So if AIs are prude now, I want no part of it. Though I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised. Most AI models won’t discuss erotica. GrokAI will, and I was actually surprised that Gemini would, right up until it wouldn’t. Even still its response didn’t upset me as much, for one thing it was more of an error message than a response. But also, I expect this. Like erotica has always been more niche, less mainstream. An aside though, it is funny when you search porn and Gemini pops up saying it can’t help you with that cause it’s porn. And I’m like “yeah, nobody asked you!” Like my brother doesn’t like porn, so obviously I don’t ask him to send me porn videos. But it would be odd if he just hit me up and said “hey bro, I can’t send you porn.” “Like yeah, nobody asked you!” Though GeminiAI will always go on to say it is designed to help and be of assistance. And again, I’m like, well you’re not helpin me find porn haha. Anyway, just another example. This is a long standing issue, so probably a long time coming. I remember years ago when Roku removed the PornHub app. It said you should still support sex workers, like “we’re not going to, but you should.” As if trying to have it both ways. Appeal to the anti-sex and pro-sex sides, like that’s not mutually exclusive.     So yeah, I think I’m done with most AI. Maybe an odd reason to become anti AI, but, them pissing me off like every other prude, anti-sex, zeolite always has, well I guess I gotta oppose that, as much as I oppose that prude rot in our society. Honestly though I am probably just being emotional. I feel insulted, and hurt. But like by AI! Why the fuck do I care what some LLM says or thinks? Pretending they even can. Like so many, I am guilty of anthropomorphizing these models. Either way though, not a great sign, probably an indicator that I should stop, if a machine is fuckin with me this much, it’s time to pull back. Anyway, just venting, because it kinda upset me so I wrote this to vent (in google docs, so maybe we’ll see what GeminiAI thinks hahaha) I have unsubscribed to ClaudeAI. Never paid for GrokAI. I’ll probably keep google for a bit cause it has other benefits, though I am seriously considering Proton. Because I mean they’re AIs, I don’t need AIs to write, never have. I just sometimes like discussing my stories as they go. But I can’t. But no matter. Rest assured I will keep writing and I will let the story tell me where it needs to go, like I always have, prude AI or no!     Oh but listen to me. Wah wah, like a fuckin crybaby. Tryin to post hoc justify my way out of being a fuckin loser! Like turn to social critique, like I always do. But however valid that critique may be. You see through it just as well as I do. I mean I shouldn’t get that upset at a human being not wanting to discuss teenage sex scenes, let alone a glorified predictive text algorithm. I mean who does that? Like the biggest loser in the fuckin world, which doubles quite well as a fat joke, because I weigh 320 pounds. Like what the fuck am I doin? So upset over fuckin chatbots bein dicks. I even wrote a poem about it. Why? Because that’s what us losers do, we get sad about dumb shit and then we write dumb poems about it! Is it actually a dumb poem? I don't know, you tell me! And I know how stupid that is. Believe me, you don’t have to tell me. Laugh at me all you want, you couldn’t possibly laugh more than I have at myself. Cause again, I know it’s dumb, and then I feel dumb for feeling it. Then I try to post hoc justify my way out of bein that kinda fuckin loser, by doing what I do best, complaining about society! Cope, so I can cry without sounding like a crybaby. After all, What else can I do? Well I can do the other thing I do best. Sit down, spark up an eagle20, and armchair psychoanalyze the fuck out myself!     So there must be something at the root of this right? Of course, the prudes. HA! No, not that, at the root of myself. My own issues. Prudes have exited before I was born and will (unfortunately) probably exist long after I die. But there is a reason I react the way I do, personally. And we could say any number of things, general anxiety, OCD, things I’ve struggled with all my life. But no! As much as those are things I struggle with. They aren’t really the root of my issue. See I know what it is, I have long known what it is. The root of my problem here comes down to a single word. The single most devastating word humanity has ever known. LONELINESS! I’m just lonely. Long diagnosed, it remains untreated. See I don’t have that much goin on. A little bit, thankfully. A few years ago I started goin to sing karaoke. I go every night and I will be for the rest of my fuckin life. Because, in no small part, much like Simple Plan, eagle20s, and my dog Atlas, it saved it! Single best decision I ever made! I didn’t even know I could make a decision that good, like I’m a fuckin idiot! But somehow, pure luck a the draw, and I drew a royal straight flush on that one, I’m tellin you. Started goin just to get outta the house, be less of a shut in. And I got more than I could’ve possibly imagined! And it is wonderful, the peak of my life. But, I don’t know if it’s enough. See just the other night I was up there, I met some awesome people, like I do most nights. This whole group of friends, even called each other family. I got jealous. Cause I want that. I crave connection. I’m a social animal after all. All humans are. Connection, at the very bottom of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. I know, you're sayin, it's the next one up traditionally. Yeah, but no. That's wrong. Maslow may a put it there, but I guess congrats to him on having a bunch a friends. Cause see, here's the thing. Ask me if I'd rather go a week without eating, or a week without seein a friend? And that is a genuinely challenging question to answer. And if it's easy for you. Then congrats on having an awesome life and never being lonely. That must be fuckin awesome for you. But me, and my fellow astronauts who relate, we know. Social connection is at the absolute bottom. Just as crucial as food, water, shelter ETC. But here’s the thing, I have air, I have shelter, I have water. I’m lucky enough, privileged enough to not have to worry about that stuff. Not have to worry about where my next meal’s comin from. But I do have to worry about the next time I’m gonna see a friend! I do worry about that. There’s a really good buddy a mine I met at the bar. When he’s there I sit by him, we hang out, shoot the shit. And I fuckin love it, cause usually I’m just there by myself, talkin with different people randomly. But when he’s there we just chill, like the whole night. Makes me feel like I have a friend. When he’s not, I’m literally heartbroken. That’s it, that’s where I’m at. Is it any wonder, a loner, lonely, loser like me get’s butt hurt by fuckin chatbots not wanting to talk about my stories? You know who’s always down to talk about my stories? Yeah, you know, the buddy I just told you about!     So yeah, that’s basically it, you can take this any way you want. Might as well do one a my favorite things and throw a pop culture reference in here; You only see what you wanna see! In the simplest terms, using the most convenient definitions. An entitled loser cryin about AI bein mean. A pervy writer who hates prudes. Or just a lonely guy, wondering, in the words of simple plan; Can anybody hear me? Or am I talkin to myself???... Cause tonight I’m callin all astronauts! All the lonely people that the world forgot! If you hear my voice, come pick me up! Are you out there? CAUSE YOU’RE ALL I’VE GOT!